I just wanted a definition, but I got a dysfunctional family

I looked up the word "travesty" using my Mac's built-in dictionary widget, and got this definition-cum-tale of family resentments:

noun
a false, absurd, or distorted representation of something

verb [trans.]
represent in such a way: Michael has betrayed the family by travestying them in his plays.

Geez, Michael, why you gotta be writing mean little plays about your momma, huh? You hurt her so much that she couldn't get it out of her mind even when sitting at the office working on computer dictionary definitions. Way to go, Eugene O'Neill.

And you, Momma! Put down the drink and get back to work!

Now is as good a time as any to show you my O.J. Simpson autograph

When I was a kid I bought a book that told you how to collect autographs and included addresses for famous people, including future murderers -- oops, I mean kidnappers and armed robbers.

I'm not sure where to display this photo. Next to the ones from Margaret Thatcher and Madeline L'Engle? Under the one from Shirley Temple? In a collage with the one from Johnny Cash and the one from "let's play two!" Chicago Cub Ernie Banks?

Maybe not.

p.s. I wrote Shirley Temple a poem. A poem! Ah, childhood.