Hello, Johns Hopkins. I have established a website.

So let's say you went to college, and your college has an Alumni Notes section in its fancy magazine that gets mailed to all alumni four times a year. Your former classmates send in announcements like "I now run the largest trauma center in the Milky Way," or "I just published my fourth Pulitzer-winning book," or perhaps "My wife and I just had triplets, which was hard to fit in to our busy schedules as justices on the Supreme Court."

Now let's say you are me. You vaguely remember receiving a card from school mentioning a reunion or homecoming or something. It had a place for you to write an update about how you just saved Asia from a meteor with your amazing physicist powers or whatever. It also had places to update basic contact info like your address and phone number.

So you scribbled in your eponymous website address, assuming that it would go into an alumni contact database or a list or something somewhere.

But you just got your fancy alumni magazine in the mail, and some helpful soul assumed that your scribbled website address was intended to be an important announcement about your life, one that you'd love to share with your fellow alumni. And this helpful soul, who maybe is a little bit evil, constructed a sentence around your url: "Courtney Lamb has established a website," and printed this sentence in the Alumni Notes.

Yes, Hopkins community. I have established a website.

It was a mighty task, but it's the kind that the rigorous Johns Hopkins University curriculum prepared me for. I am so proud. I only wish I had even more photos of me looking utterly goofy on said website.

I needed to share www.courtneylamb.com with those of you announcing job changes, marriages, birthings, and elections to the Senate. Each of us has done something life-changing.

I Have Established a Website. BEHOLD.

If you send me your phone number, I can call you every time I do something this important. You need to know.

I promise to keep my fellow JHU alumni updated on future important info, such as my favorite color (leaning towards eggshell white these days) and the hilarious antics of my cats. JHU: I have already filled out alumni notes cards with this important info; stand watch for the mailman.

YOU'RE WELCOME.