Someone pooped in our yard

There, I said it. It happened, and I acknowledged it.

I think it was an act of desperation, not of revenge. I don't think there was someone saying, "I really hate those guys. I mean really. How can I best say, 'I hate you'? An anonymous letter just seems so...non-disgusting. Hmmm, that burrito I just ate is really acting up....I've got it!"

No, I think someone got really desperate and found themselves stuck in a neighborhood and faced a terrible choice. This is the price we as a society pay for not having enough public toilets.

How do I know it wasn't a really large dog? Well, in my experience, a) dogs don't open gates, and b) dogs don't use napkins as toilet paper.

I disposed of the evidence with one of those long-handled grabber things you use to pick up trash. Some trash that was.

Do I have any suspects? Yes. I think it was Mexico.

I was supposed to go to Cancun on vacation this past weekend and had to cancel due to swine flu aka H1N1.

In retaliation, Mexico pooped in my yard.

Mighty uncalled-for response to a pandemic, Mexico. Próxima vez que escriba una carta anónima!