"Six Pack" (1982)

You heard me: SIX PACK. Starring Kenny Rogers.

This movie is a cable favorite, so other people must enjoy its charms as much as I do. Who can resist a movie starring old country beardo himself as a race car driver who gets mixed up with a passel of orphans who just want to stay together out of foster care and get themselves a home. Oh, and who steal auto parts to fund their child outlaw lives; how fortunate that they run into Kenny, who needs an expert crew to help him jump start (get it?) his racing career! Maybe Kenny is finally ready to settle down, perhaps with former girlfriend Erin Grey? Can you guess how it ends? (hint: in a bloodbath!)

My young self was irrestibly drawn to this movie for the following reasons:

1. Erin Grey, of TV's "Silver Spoons", a big favorite of mine at the time, and the reason I still love Jason Bateman. A very safely pretty person who looks nothing like a honky tonk waitress, but whatever.

2. Kenny. Perfect father/Santa figure. Love his voice. Good actor, too. Also contributed a great pop country lite theme song.*

2. Anthony Michael Hall. He plays the mechanical genuis among the kids, one year before appearing in NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION, which was followed by SIXTEEN CANDLES and THE BREAKFAST CLUB. To my mind the greatest teenage actor of all time, equally effortlessly adept at drama and comedy and at playing the straight man or the goofy lead. I adored him when I was growing up.

3. Diane Lane as the oldest sibling forced to take on the role of parent even as she was struggling to grow up herself. Sob! Perfect casting, perfect acting.

4. Those Other Kids. They were all well-cast and appealing without demanding that you find them cute and charming. They just were who they were.

5. Terry Kiser as the evil race car driving antagonist. Come on -- it's Bernie from WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S! Give me a break; that's a treat right there.

6. It deals with real emotional issues in an honest manner. It's sweet without being saccharine. It's about a big family of kids, which fascinates me since I'm from a small family. It's got a bearded partiarch character who chooses the kids, very compelling to the child of a single mom.

I've probably seen this movie ten times, and I'm happy to report that I saw it on cable recently and loved it all over again. It makes me feel good about life, and I'd be mighty pleased if someone said that about something I was a part of.

*Though I can't image what would qualify as pop country heavy. Ummm.. that Chris Issac song with the black-and-white video and the models? I don't know.