"Hiny Hiders"

I swear that I'm not obsessed with public restrooms. I never intended to post even one toilet-related entry, let alone two.

But while I was charmed and delighted by Rest Assured, I just can't get behind (ha!) this one. This is a shot from the bathrooms at O'Hare airport of the latch on the stall, which reads "Hiny Hiders", by a Scanton, PA company called Santana Products. As a native Pennsylvanian, I say No. (Imagine that said in a Philadelphia accent. How about, "No, and get me a glass of wudder.")

No to this name. The product -- toilet partitions for public restrooms, is fine; nay, necessary and desireable. But Hiny Hiders is not cute or appropriate; it's just gross. It's trying too hard to be adorable, and I don't want my scatalogically-associated partitions to be adorable. Rest Assured is a practical name that happens to be funny. Hiny Hiders is a joke that falls flat.

And it's spelled wrong. We each have a hiney, not a hiny.

Are cutsie-poo (ha!) names a weird byproduct (ha!) of the professional toiletries business? If so, that's crap. (HA HA!)

I don't even want to know what the cleaning lady thought as she heard me taking a picture from inside my stall.

Also, O'Hare toilet seats are covered with an automated plastic wrap that changes itself between uses. It's like the toilet makes you wear a diaper. It is unaccountably disgusting.

Also, I've noticed that the new restrooms on the beach at Playa Del Rey have NO STALL DOORS. NOT A SINGLE COMPLETE HINY HIDER. What the hell is a no-door multi-stall bathroom about? Who are the sick voyeurs who designed that mess?